The Psychology of Feeling Young: Time, Age, and the Importance of Staying Engaged

Most of us carry around two ages. There is the official one, the number attached to our birthday, driver’s license, and increasingly rude medical forms. Then there is the age we actually feel. In a recent conversation I had with Dr. Art Markman, we explored this strange gap between chronological age and subjective age, and why so many adults look in the mirror and think, “Wait, when did that happen?” Feeling younger than we are is not necessarily denial. Sometimes it reflects vitality, curiosity, social connection, and the stubborn belief that the most interesting part of life might not be behind us yet.

One reason age feels so slippery is that our idea of “old” is partly cultural. We compare ourselves to grandparents, older relatives, or outdated images of aging, then notice that our own lives do not quite match the stereotype. Maybe someone at sixty is still running, learning music, traveling, working, mentoring, or going to concerts. That does not fit the old picture of aging as shrinking away from the world. Of course, the body does keep score. Strength, resilience, appearance, hearing, and recovery time all change. The trick is not to pretend those changes are not happening, but also not to let them become a prison.

Time is just as strange. A clock may tick at the same speed all day, but our experience of time does not. A boring waiting room can stretch ten minutes into a minor eternity, while a great conversation can make an hour disappear. Looking backward, time also changes shape. A week of travel can feel longer than a month of routine because the brain has more unique memories to hang onto. Childhood feels enormous partly because everything is new. Adulthood often speeds up because life gets efficient, familiar, and repetitive. That may be good for getting laundry done, but it is terrible for making life feel expansive.

This is where novelty becomes more than a lifestyle slogan. Trying new things gives the mind more to encode, more to remember, and more to build a story around. That might mean taking up an instrument, visiting a museum you would normally skip, traveling somewhere unfamiliar, saying yes to an odd invitation, or making friends across generations. It does not have to be dramatic. You do not need to quit your job and move to another country to make time feel richer. Sometimes the simple act of stepping outside your usual script is enough to remind your brain that life is still unfolding.

The deeper point is that we do not only age by accumulating years. We age by narrowing or expanding our contact with life. Taking care of the body matters. So do checkups, exercise, sleep, and not acting like you are twenty when your knees have already submitted a formal complaint. But staying young in the best sense also means staying available to experience. Say yes more often outside of work. Let yourself be bad at something new. Keep listening, learning, moving, and connecting. Time will still pass, of course. But with enough curiosity, it may feel less like life is slipping away and more like it is still opening up.